It has been awhile since my last post. Since writing last, we took a family vacation to Disney World with some Air Force friends. They had been to Disney at least a dozen times (with and without kids) and are super pros. If you haven't been to Disney World or it's been awhile, I highly recommend tagging along with someone who knows how to work the system. It's not as easy as buying a ticket and getting in line for your favorite ride.
When I got back from spring break, I took a risk and interviewed for a new position that is being created at my school. Several colleagues suggested that I go for it and I really got excited about the role and being able to define it, but sadly, I was not the best candidate. It was a blow to my ego and honestly, I was living below the line for about a week. Check out the link if you are not aware of the line. I love to use this video with my students as one of our Mindset Monday activities.
Aside from being disappointed with the decision, I was more upset with my own hypocrisy. I stand in front of my students everyday and preach about the importance of having a growth mindset, resiliency, and the benefits of failing forward, and here I was feeling sorry for myself. The whole thing made me feel double disappointed with myself.
To top it off, the day after finding out I did not get the position, I was told that I not only had to test my students for our four days of testing, but I was also selected (as tribute) to test a small group of 8th graders on six additional days! This means six days without a plan bell THEN trying to get in as much math as possible with my 6th graders and barely time to think let alone eat lunch and decompress from 2+ hours of watching students take a test. Did I mention that on 8th grade testing days, we flip our schedule and have 6th grade core classes in the afternoon? I truly appreciate our encore teachers and their patience day in and out with or little darlings after lunch. Those poor things are spent by the end of the day and Algebraic Expressions are not high on the priority list at 2pm.
Needless to say, I was one cranky teacher. Every time I began to feel better, another teacher would come in to my room and tell me they, too, were disappointed with the decision, reopening my wound. They meant well, and I love them for it, but it is not what I need or want to hear at this time.
So, I am surviving until June when all of my school cares are suppressed until fall. Or, am I?
With 3 out of my 10 days of testing down, I have to say it is not as bad as I was dreading. I enjoyed spending some time with my past students and marveled at how much they have matured since I had them in 6th grade. It's very convoluted with the assignments of computers for testing, but I am testing the four kiddos in an 8th grade Social Studies room, while that teacher tests across the hall in the computer lab. I do believe this is the way to go. Being in a different space and seeing how he arranged his room has kept me from dying of complete boredom. Think about it. We put so much time and effort into our classrooms, then teach in them all day for 10 months. Of course testing in our own rooms is mind-numbing. We have memorized every square inch of the place, especially if you have been in that room for several years. The teacher whose room I tested in had so many fascinating posters to look at and a picture of each American President from George Washington to Donald Trump with an inspiring or though provoking quote for each. It took me 2 days of testing to read each one (I was monitoring students after all). His room is like a small American History Museum, it's quite fantastic. I think I needed to really dread testing this year to make it through.
Although I didn't want to be inspired, I knew I needed it so I forced myself to read two professional books, Learn Like a Pirate by Paul Solarz and Culturize by Jimmy Casas. These books were just what I needed to get me out of my rut and get my creative juices flowing again. I am actually very excited to implement a few new ideas this year and really blow it up (again) next year. The best part, Jimmy Casas's book has questions for discussion (or reflection). I had them open on my front table and each time I walked by, I would read a question and ponder my own response as I walked around the room and monitored my students as I tested in my own classroom.
I have let myself go back to what I love and just enjoyed my students and colleagues the past few days and they have made me feel much better, too. Allowing them to lift my spirits was something I didn't realize I needed to give myself permission to do, but I did, and it worked!
Tonight, I even attended a FREE PD session on the use of foldables. I have to admit, I was not super excited about the content (I already use foldables and didn't think I would learn too much more), but they also provided appetizers, dinner, and adult beverages. I had to check it out. So, I went with 3 colleagues and we had a blast! It was by far one of the best PD sessions I have ever attended. We cut, we pasted, we drew, and best of all we enjoyed each other while learning some great new ideas to implement in class tomorrow (well not tomorrow we are still testing, but you get the idea).
All in all, I did manage to work my way out of the rut. I am still disappointed, but I am happy for now. It is a great feeling. I have fantastic people to work with, inspiring texts to reflect on, and most importantly, great kids to keep me company along the way. I am one blessed teacher.
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